just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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