That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
