you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have feelings that need drinking.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize