Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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