I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
