Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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