he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
this boner is exhausting
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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