but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
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He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
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I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
im on a boat
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