It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
