I heard we made out
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize