Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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