I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
