I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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