Tell her she can't have a vagina
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
My penis needs a shock collar
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
