We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
