it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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