I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm too high and old for this...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
