you didnt know i had herpes?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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