You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I need moral support for this bender
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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