So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
