you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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