ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
