The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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