I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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