you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
