Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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