where am i from again
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
