He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
