Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
