I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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