Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Randomize
