omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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