What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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