so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
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I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
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yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
dude. I can hear the air.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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