did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
