this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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