Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
