i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
