The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
