i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
