if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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