In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
The uberlube is also flammable
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
