i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
