Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
