What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
