i just had sex bonerless
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
she smelled like a LAN party
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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