Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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