my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
sex in a hospital.. check
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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