One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
