Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
