At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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