does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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