Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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