hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize