Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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